Ick

I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and achy, striking a significant blow to my delusion of exemption from colds and flus. I try my best, I really do: I don't touch bus poles and then put my hands in my mouth; I keep my distance from the shivering, hacking wretches who see fit to drag their contagious carcasses in front of the public for their own perverse entertainment; I use my cuffs to open doors and I wash my hands a kerblillion times each day. And this is what I get? Listen up, you parasitic world: if you do not cease and desist this very moment, I swear I'm going to go all Glenn Gould!